What a fussy baby

Sunday Izabel was in a very fussy mood and I had no idea why. It ended up being a beautiful day and my family took her for a nice long walk. She enjoyed see the trees and nature. I was so tired cause she did not sleep well that I took a nap for an hour. I wish I would have gone along with them. When they got back Izabel was very tired so I rocked her to sleep for a while. When she woke up she was still fussy. She seemed to be content for a while playing and then would get upset about something. I think it was her teeth so before bed time I gave her some infant tylenol which seemed to help. The next day at daycare she seemed to have a great day.
I am just glad she is over the phase where she woke up for 3 nights straight at exactly 11 pm. She would fall asleep at her regular bedtime but at 11 she would wake up and be wide awake fussing away. Needless to say I did not get a lot of sleep since she ended up cuddled with me in bed until she fell asleep again. She did not want to be rocked or walk around or anything. Oh well, I guess.

Craft day was a success!

On saturday afternoon a few of my friends came over to share in an excellent day of crafting. A few of them did not bring pumpkins or t shirts but other people brought extras. So, it all worked out. We started out with a few bottles of wine, snacks and started carving pumpkins. Everybody made really look and different ones. We brought them outside and put candles in there. They looked so awesome lit up. Afterwards, we started making caramel apples. We melted the caramel and got all the different toppings set out. We washed the apples and stuck the sticks into them. Then we had fun mixing all different toppings on the apples. At the end, we had two apples left and no caramel. So, someone had the bright idea to just start melting whatever we had. By the time we were finished there was toppings everywhere and our apples had so much stuff all over them.
After much complaints we started making our t -shirts. I made oneies for Izabel. I made one Halloween one and one fun one with a robot on it. Everyone else made adult tshirts using fabric crayons. Everyones did not turn out that great and they all ended up puffy painting them. I can not wait to see how they turned out once they were dry.
I was so glad that everyone showed up. We had such a great time laughing, drinking and crafting. I am hoping we can do it again but maybe at someone elses house and with different craft items.

Do I hold Izabel too much?

When I went to go pick up Izabel from daycare her teacher told me that she thinks Izabel is spoiled at home and her mom and grandma hold her a lot. She said it jokingly but I must admit I was kind of offended. She said that when Izabel is playing she has a hard time being alone. Like if Izabel is playing with toys on the floor and the teacher will go start making lunch for the other children, Izabel will start crying. I do not know. Izabel plays by herself a lot. I lay her on the floor with toys and do whatever I need to do. There is 4 adults in my house so Izabel is rarely alone. She does a good job playing by herself, I think. She does not cry that much. Maybe it is cause I am her mom. I can not help it I love to hold her, she is getting so big so fast. :( I do not want to miss any moments with her being little. And she is spoiled cause shes my baby and the only grandchild. So we all love to hold her and play with her as much as possible. And I want to be around her to make sure she does not get hurt. Oh well, I guess I should not read that much into it.

Can't catch a break

Today I had  to go down and meet with this lady about my application to receive assistance paying for Izabels daycare. I was not excited to have to ask for assistance but since I have not received any child support and Izabels daycare is very expensive I need help until I get child support. I already had my application filed out online where it says that if you are a full-time student you qualify for the aid. And since I go to UWM full time I was a shoe in. Well, I get there and find out in addition I need to work at least 5 hours a week. And it is not like I am too lazy to find a job. It is just that my school schedule is so random cause I signed up for classes so late that I got whatever classes became available. So, the only day really that I could work is Friday. Maybe a few nights during the week but that is kind of iffy. I do not have consistent care for Izabel on Sat and Sun which makes me worried. I would hate to have to miss work cause I do not have anybody to watch her. Now, I do not know what I am going to do. I am running out of money fast. Then during the meeting my little sister calls me panicing about her homecoming ticket! Which she should have figured out before the last day you could buy them. I ended up having to run around town to get her money and drop it off at her school. Then she did not even say thank you!!! RUDE!
After getting my haircut and a few more errands I am relaxing at home with Izabel. She fell asleep while we realxed on my bed listening to classical music. I just finished my english homework and am now doing some artwork. What a nice evening. Eventhough I am not actually doing anything I feel rather relaxed.
Tomorrow, I am having some friends over to do some crafting and pumpkin carving. We may even go downtown to a wine tasting!! :) I am excited!

Sillly video

This video was way too long so I tried to cut it down. I wanted to get a video of Izabels new face she likes to make. We all call it the "O" face. She stretches out her cheeks and make a tiny O with her mouth. Too cute. And then I got her to giggle!!

Mood

I am not sure what is going on but the past few days I have been kind of bummed out. I have no idea why either. It is so strange. I have been feeling super great lately until the past week. I think it is just cause I am not getting enough sleep or I am kind of lonely. I have been playing with Izabel a lot and blogging which makes me feel like I am talking to someone. I have made plans with my friends to get together and do crafts. Also, I have been hanging out/talking to my friends a bit more. I am hoping all these things will really help me. We will see!

Why dont you care?

This is going to be a giant rant. Just a heads up before you start reading it.
I just do not understand how someone can not care about their child. It just do not make sense to me at all. A child is a part of you. Maybe it is just because I am a woman and my child came out of me so I have more of a connection to that child. But I would think that men should have just as a big as a connection because they helped create that child. How can someone go days or weeks with out wanting to know about that child? I dont get it. I hate being away from my daughter for a few hours. How can you live with yourself not seeing her for weeks and months? She is never going to know who you are. Or want to be close to you. And maybe one day when you get it together it will be too late. She wont want to have any desire to be close to you. You are missing some of the best parts of her life. She is such an amazing little girl. You are going to miss her crawling, walking, talking, discovering new things, etc. I just can not imagine not knowing about her every day. Each day she has a new face or does something new and you are missing it. It is not my responsiblity to send you something everyday about her. You should want to know about her. How hard is it to send a text everyday? You can even save it and push like one freakin button?!?!? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Well, I defintely have learned my lesson in life. Well I have learned a few lessons really.
Note to self: Do not do things that are dumb but seem like a good idea at the time.

I am Lame

So, this weekend it was absolutely beautiful out. The weather was in the 70's the sun was shining, birds were singing blah blah blah. What did I do all weekend? Um try nothing. Saturday night I realized I did homework all  day and was only outside for about 10 minutes. I should have taken Izabel for a walk or something. But I didnt and I have no idea why? By the end of the weekend I was kind of feeling shitty about myself which is not good. Luckily, Sunday I had lunch with a friend who I had not seen since my baby shower, Izabel and another friend. It was nice to get out and hang out with them, not to mention the food was pretty good. And at the end of lunch we all got cupcakes. Izabel had a good time too. She made out a mess with her chewing biscuit things (not for dogs I promise).
Friday was pretty fun too. Katie, Izabel and I went to Micheals, Hobby Lobby and Jo-ann fabrics. We bought a lot of craft things. Which I am very excited to start creating fun new clothes for Izabel and other stuff. We got fabric, tshirts, puffy paint and ribbon. I will post pictures when we actually make something. Which is another thing that upsets me about the weekend. We went out and bought all this craft stuff and then did not make anything with it. LAME

Feeling Crafty

In an effort to keep myself busy and not feel sad/sorry for myself I have decided to make things. I have had the urge to be crafty for awhile now but nobody else seems to want to do crafts with me. I made everyone decorate onesies at my baby shower so I think I can do it again. Halloween has a lot of craft opputunites like making caramel apples, carving pumpkins and making popcorm balls. Now, I just need to get all my friends together and make them do it. Cause they will make excuses and generally do not enjoy crafting but I always find a way to make them do them. mauahuahuahu!
I almost deleted this post cause I  feeling like no one would want to craft with me. I do not know. But then I had lunch with a friend who I have not seen in awhile and she was excited about. And my other friend who was with us is probably going to join too. HOORAY! I am very excited.
Last week, I decided to make a shopping cart/high chair cover for Izabel. It was quite a bit of fun picking out the fabric and putting it together. My grandma did all of the sewing but I helped. It turned out really cute too. It folds up into a bag and its reversible.

Here are a few pictures of Izabel using her new shopping car cover! Isnt she just so cute?!??!?

I love Thursdays!!

Thursdays are so awesome! I only have one class and I am home by 2 pm! Which means I get to spend the rest of the day with Izabel. And then I have no classes on Fridays so it is really the start of my weekend. Also, there are a ton of great shows on thursday nights! BONUS!
This Thursday during my early childhood education class we go to play outside. Like literally PLAY! I have not played since I was in elementary school. We had a whole hour to draw with chalk, color with markers, go on a walk, find bugs or play football outside. It was so nice to be outside and get to know the other students and just have fun.
Later tonight, my little sister, myself and Izabel are going to go grocery shopping (one of my favorite activities, weird I know) and make subs! I am very excited. Then we are going to make cupcakes for my grandpa!
Man do I love Thursdays!! (minus though the cute boy was not on the bus today :( )

Beautiful Day

It is has been really cold lately but just yesterday it warmed up to the 70's!! Naturally living in wisconsin you can always expect some random weather. It is just how it goes. I was late to school due to a fatal accident on the interstate so I drove to school. As I was leaving class to go home I was in awe of all the beatiful colors on the trees and the falling leaves. Fall is one thing that I really missed while living in Arizona. The trees turn all kinds of colors from green to yellow, red, orange and purple. It is so beautiful. Then when you walk the wind gently blows the leaves off the trees and they float down around you. It is truly like a scene from the movies. It just made me feel so good about my life and how blessed I am to be back here with my family and to have Izabel share these experiences with me. Not to mention how awesome Halloween becomes when you have all the awesome trees and leaves. It really just makes the holiday better. Then you can avoid seeing a lot of slutty costumes for halloween as well. I can not wait to go back to the pumpkin farm, carve pumpkins, make caramel apples and dress up for Halloween. Dear Wisconsin, I love and missed you so much!

Am I a crazy mom?

As I walked to class yesterday I saw this guy carrying his super cute baby girl. Mind you this was on campus. And it made me wonder if he was a random guy, if he attended the unversity, or was he a professor. Why does he get to bring his daughter on campus? Not fair. Cant I strap Izabel to the front on me and throw my backpack on my back and go to class? She wont be that big of a distraction right? Theres probably not any health codes I would violate or anything. hahaha Let me tell you how many times I have thought of just bring Izabel to class with me. I would never do it but still. I wonder does that make me crazy? Do other moms want to bring their children where ever they go? When do you get to that point when you are happy your children are at school? Is it weird that I want her around all the time? I dont want to miss anything! I dont know maybe I am just crazy. Time will tell apparently.

Weird things

Last week Izabel started doing this thing with her face where she scrunches up her nose, squints her eyes and breaths out of her nose. It makes this strange noise. And I can not figure out why she does it or where she learned it from? It looks like she smells something weird or is trying to push something out of her nose. This week has started another strange thing. She makes a weird noise, CONSTANTLY! It is like eh, ehe ehe. I cant even describe it. I kind of hope she learns to talk soon hahaha. Each week, I am amazed at the new things she is learning to do. I am glad the phase is over where she screamed (not crying) as loud as she could. She is a weird kid but I guess I should not be surprise cause I am kind of weird. Well, I can not wait to see what strange thing whether it is a noise or weird face or maybe she will learn to crawl better. I just love watching her.
Last night, she played on the floor in our room for 20 minutes by herself. I was trying to do my homework but ended up watching her the whole time. She would pick up a toy play with it and then move onto something else. She sat up so nice and would put the binky in her mouth, spit it out and then put it back into her mouth. She is so spankin cute! And then she tired herself out and put herself to sleep in my lap while I read my homework.

Thats my crazy Bizzy!

Does being a mom make you forgetful?

The answer I am finding lately is YES! I think it is cause I have so many thoughts flying around in my head and I have to get 12 thousand things done at once I forget what I was suppose to do. And I keep forgetting my cell phone places, which is really not good at all. I left it at home one day and had to go back and get it. Then today I left my cell phone sitting on a chair I was sitting in waiting for class. My cell is my link to the world not to mention my only means of communication if something happens to Izabel at daycare (which I pray nothing will ever happen). And yesterday I forgot my leaves for my art project which we have been collecting for weeks and I even thought about before I went to bed and in the morning before I left. UGH! I hate forgetting things. Oh well, I guess that is just what happens. It is hard to get Izabel ready and then myself and get out the door to get to daycare and then me to the bus to school. I guess I need to get up earlier to get ready but I am tired so it is difficult.

Date night

Dear Future Boyfriend:
Could you please hurry up and find me? I would really enjoy to go out to the movies.
Sincerely,
Your future girlfriend (Kristin)

I have to admit that I am kind of glad that I moved back (well I am very glad but this is a different kind of glad) because there are cute boys EVERYWHERE!!!! hahah I know that I am not suppose to be looking for a boyfriend cause then I will never find one. Or at least that what I am told. If you stop looking then he will find you. I am not sure if I believe in all of that. I am not even sure if I believe in soul mates or whatever. I feel like my situation is so messed up and I am such a weird person who would want to date me. Who out there is going to get me? I am a very very strange person. It just seems impossible that there is one person who is just like me. Not to mention now that person has to like my daughter too. Which adds an additional layer of complication to me. (perfect) But luckily Izabel is so spakin' cute and awesome it would be hard not to fall in love with her. Its that crazy mom of hers that we have to worry about. I think I have a lot to offer someone. I am funny and nice. I am not super graphic to look at so I guess that is a bonus. Then I wonder if my list of qualities I want in a boyfriend is too high. I think I should just stop thinking about it all together. I feel hopeless in finding someone. I just do not have the patience to go out and look for someone or go on dates that lead to no where. Waiting for them to call back and blah blah blah. Maybe I will just be alone for the rest of my life. It is just hard to see my mom getting remarried, both my sisters have boyfriends. I feel like I am the 5th wheel with a baby. I do not know. I should just stop feeling sorry for myself and just live it up!
But I have seen a lot of cute boys at school and at the mall the other day. So, I guess I will just look at them and day dream about going on dates. Some day maybe I will find someone. Who knows.

Blogging

Well this is like the 4th post today! Oh well, its been a while since I have blogged so I have a lot to say. And since nobody else seems to want to listen I have to tell it someone. I hope that this blog does not turn into just a place for me to rant and complain. But I have looked at some of my previous posts and it seems like I kind of an angry person. Ooops! In the end, I am not sure what I want this blog to be other than an online journal, I guess. I guess that is all I have to say. hahha other than I hope I do not come across is a person who just complains and rants all the time. I feel I have a lot more to offer to the world.

Cuddling

This is Izabel and I enjoying our time cuddling together. Since she has been having a hard time sleeping we spend a lot of time cuddling together. I love sharing this time together. Everytime, I think about it I realize I just spent hours doing nothing but cuddling with her. I really would not trade it for anything though.

Best Friend

I think the hardest part so far after breaking up after 5 years is losing my best friend. As I work through the broken heart part, I really feel upset that I have no one to talk to. I think that is why I started this blog. I lost a lot of friends when I moved to Arizona. And the ones I did keep now our relationship is not nearly as strong or close as it used to be. Everyone has moved on with their lives and it seems as though they feel like I am still in Arizona. Not to mention the fact that now I have a baby. I think it is hard when people do not have children to hang out with someone when they have children. I have been struggling the last few weeks to try to hang out with people but I am finding it difficult to get people motivated to hang out. Which has since affected my mood, I feel a little depressed and just want to stay in bed. This is not good.
I used to think that my boyfriend was my best friend and I would talk to him about everything. He would be the person I would turn to when some family issue was bothering me. Or if I had a bad day or if I had a good day. I really felt that was why I feel in love with him because he was my best friend. I could tell him anything and everything. Lots of things I did not share with family or friends I would tell him. We would talk about our days and discuss things that we saw, made us laugh or whatever. We had so many things in common, I often wonder why it didnt work and if we could get back together. We talk every once and a while on the phone and I feel that connection we had. I miss it terribly.
I wished we were still together cause then I would have someone to share all the things that happen with Izabel.  I miss having someone. Not just the hugs, kisses and love but having someone to talk to all the time. I thought we would be together to raise Izabel together. I feel like my friends, cause they do not have children, do not want to hear about how izabel rolled over or discovered a new toy. But her father would or should I guess. Now I look at stupid facebook and see all these other happy couples and how they are excited about having children. Babies everywhere and happy perfect families to raise them together. And here I am alone with no one to talk to or share it with. I guess I shouldnt envy others but it is hard not to. I see friends who had their families there right when their child was born and how happy they are all together. But all izabels birth pictures are just me and her father. And now they are hard to look at cause it reminds me of how happy I thought we used to be. And I wish we could go back to that. I am realizing that I guess I have a lot of regrets about things in my life. I really try not to have regrets in my life but oh well. It is hard not to. I mean this is not how I imagined my life. I am still in college with a daughter, no job and living at home. But I guess this blog is going to help me work on that fact.

Teething

The past few days have been a little bit unpleasant because I think that Izabel is teething. She is having a hard time sleeping unless she is sleeping near me or on top of me. Which I am sure is going to make it difficult for her when she is at daycare. I bought her teething biscuit things which she seems to like but I am terrified she is going to choke. She likes to chew on things but often gets big pieces in her mouth. I took a first aid class a few years ago and hope I know what to do if she were to choke which I pray she never will. We have the cold teething rings as well. But what else are you suppose to do to help when your child starts teething? Any suggestions would be great. I have given her tylenol a few times and rubbed her gums and put baby orajel on her gums too. They appear to be turning white instead of the normal red so I think a tooth is coming/really hope one is working its way out. She is almost 7 months old now!!! (which I can not believe she is that old already). I just feel bad for her cause I am sure it is really painful to go through. Luckly she will not remember it. And she does not have a doctors appointment until the end of the month. I have a lot of questions for the pedetraician too. We were suppose to go this week but I had to cancel because of school. Well, if she does get a tooth this week I will put a picture up!

(here is Izabel using a pickle as a teething aid, weird that she likes them so much).

This weekend

So, I know it has been a while since I have blogged. I was so excited to start this and then I have been neglecting it. Not good. I will tell you all about my crazy weekend. Friday morning I was suppose to have an appointment to get assistance paying for daycare. I thought the lady on the phone told me 8:30 am but apparently it was 8 am. So needless to say I missed the appointment. Which I really need since I am currently not receiving child support for Izabel and daycare is expensive. After that I stopped at O & H to get some donuts to cheer me up. I took them over to my grandparents to see my grandma who just got out of the hospital from knee replacement surgery. She is doing so well, it is awesome. I am so proud of her, at 82 she is doing amazing well. I brought Izabel of course hahah, and we played and my grandpa was so excited to see and hold her. While I was playing with Izabel I figured out how to make her giggle. She started laughing so hard, it was so cute. When you tickle her little tummy she thinks it so funny. It definitely improved my mood. After my grandparents I was suppose to have lunch with Bret's two sisters, Lia and Kendra but something came up and they couldn't go. :(  Later, I met up with my mom, and my little sister to get something else for her Birthday. This turned out to be a great big waste of time. Oh well, I went back home and took a nap with Izabel.
Then we got up super early and drove to the Kenosha train station. And of course there was drama trying to get onto the train. Izabels stroller is too big and wouldnt fit down the aisles. Finally we made it too my sisters condo and it was pretty cold and windy. After eating breakfast we tried to decide what to do to celebrate my little sisters birthday. We all packed up and decided to walk around chicago. As soon as we got outside it was pouring rain, super cold and windy. And izabel doesnt like the rain on her face so we went back to the condo and watched movies. We didnt really get to celebrate her birthday together but it was kind of a fun day. I love going to visit my older sister. I miss seeing her all the time. She is one of the only people I feel I have to talk to about things. We took the late train back and got home at 12. By this time Izabels schedule was completely screwed up. And she had not been sleeping super well all week. Needless to say we fell asleep together and at 1 am I put her in her crib.
Izabel and I got up early sunday morning and drove down to Kenosha to have breakfast with Brets mom and grandparents at Panera Bread. The food was delicious and it was nice for Izabel to see them. Even though Bret lives far away I feel it is really important for his family to be part of Izabels life. So, whenever they are in town or call to meet up I really try to make it work so we can meet up and they can see her. She is growing up so fast. At first Izabel cried because she has stranger danger but after a few minutes she was fine. We took lots of pictures and visited. It is always a little awkward for me because his family really likes me and his grandma wants us to get back together. But since he lives in another state I am not sure that will ever work out. The day ended with grocery shopping, cooking chili and lots of Izabel fussing. I think she is teething because she is drooling a lot and is chewing hard on everything. I did not end up going to bed until late because my little sister finally opened her presents at 10 pm.