Cute moment of the day!!!

After work Izabel and I laid down on the couch for a little snuggle and the next thing I know its an hour and a half later! I really needed to get things done while she was napping but snuggling with her was so nice after her not wanting to come home with me at daycare. Then she woke up tossed her binky at me and grabbed her giraffe, giving him a huge hug and a smooch! MUAH!! :) That stinkin baby knows just how to melt my little heart into a million pieces!!

EATING

Or should I actually say lack of eating! For the past i dont even know how long, it feels like months, Ms. Izabel refuses to eat. She used to be such a good eater. I never had to worry cause she would try any food and usually liked it. And on the rare occasion she didnt like it, if I tried it another day she would eat it. Now, she survives on milk and i dont even know, air I guess. Everyone says, "its just a phase Kristin, she will eat when she is hungry". Well, her mom is super stressed out about this whole not eating thing, she is having a hard time not freaking out about it. I know, I know, stressing out about it does not help anyone in this situation. But come on people, watching my little one go from eating everything to almost nothing is hard to do. I guess, i should just accept it and move on until some other random "phase" comes along for me to freak out about. Apparently, she eats great at her daycare, so thats good right? (secretly, it makes me feel a million times worse that her daycare teacher can get her to eat and her mother cant) UGH!!! Then to top it all off she did not want to come home with me from daycare today :( Oh well, maybe tomorrow will be better?!?!?

HUGS

I miss hugs. Such a simple and silly things hugs are. But I need one right about now. I need someone to take me in their arms and squeeze me and tell me everything will be alright. Bizzy gives good hugs but it is not the type of hug I am looking for. Its so weird cause I hate hugs but now is the time I need one badly. I feel like Im barely hanging on. I do not know why the loneliness is hitting me so hard today but it is.  

missing az

I am not sure what I miss most about Arizona. But I find myself missing it all the time lately. I know I miss the friends I had down there. I miss having my own place. I miss decorating it for the different holidays and cleaning it and having a place that was my own. I come do whatever I wanted to there. But having a place of my own meant paying for it all by myself as well. Which was a definetly a minus. I know that I would not have been able to afford it with the Bizzy. I miss that the fact that I did not take advantage of all the different things Arizona offered that WI doesnt. I miss the weather sometimes as well. I know I cant move back there anytime soon and I am not sure that I want to either.

The pit of despair

Hello random person who may stumble upon this and begin reading it. How is it going? I know it has been a while and I am sorry. The past few months I have lost all motivation for anything in life anymore. I have no idea where all my motivation and lust for life has disappeared to but I wish it would come back. I miss having the drive to even get out of bed. It is a struggle pretty much everyday. Today, I must admit has been not difficult to get out of bed but I just feel empty and really alone. I currently am fighting back the tears that seem to want to pour out of my eyes. I keep telling myself tomorrow will be better but lately I feel as though it is worse. I am sure it is just a phase and  it will pass. I do not know why I feel so lonely but I do. Writing it all down sure is helping me today. Maybe I am just really tired. I cant help but look around me and see how happy everyone else seems to be. Granted I do not know everyone else but appearances display happy people who had good lives. I want what they have. I know it is a terrible thing to want what others have but I just cant help it. Sometimes I can convince myself that if I am patient that good things will come to me. And that seems to be the popular trend of what people tell me as well. But I just dont want to feel alone. I am not trying to say that I take for granted what I have because I have a pretty good life going for me right now. i dont know what is wrong with me.