The pit of despair

Hello random person who may stumble upon this and begin reading it. How is it going? I know it has been a while and I am sorry. The past few months I have lost all motivation for anything in life anymore. I have no idea where all my motivation and lust for life has disappeared to but I wish it would come back. I miss having the drive to even get out of bed. It is a struggle pretty much everyday. Today, I must admit has been not difficult to get out of bed but I just feel empty and really alone. I currently am fighting back the tears that seem to want to pour out of my eyes. I keep telling myself tomorrow will be better but lately I feel as though it is worse. I am sure it is just a phase and  it will pass. I do not know why I feel so lonely but I do. Writing it all down sure is helping me today. Maybe I am just really tired. I cant help but look around me and see how happy everyone else seems to be. Granted I do not know everyone else but appearances display happy people who had good lives. I want what they have. I know it is a terrible thing to want what others have but I just cant help it. Sometimes I can convince myself that if I am patient that good things will come to me. And that seems to be the popular trend of what people tell me as well. But I just dont want to feel alone. I am not trying to say that I take for granted what I have because I have a pretty good life going for me right now. i dont know what is wrong with me.